The Bandwagon: The Easiest Way To Scrape Your Knees

Today the Observer Review has published an article by Hermione Hoby about the Arctic Monkeys live in Brixton. Now, I hope I am not the only one who thinks that Hermione is trying to jump on the bandwagon as I cannot imagine her ever listening intently to the music of the Monkeys day after day or singing along like the crowd did at the gig itself. The whole review felt like a point-scorer after her stint in the comments section about how (young) women still need feminism (of course we do, dear, we don't need to be told that).

First mistake: claiming that the whole of their third album was recorded and produced by Josh Homme in the American desert. Er, no, actually only about 2/3 of the album was - this is a simple mistake to make of course. Well actually it isn't. Listening to the Sheffield four-piece work their way through the majority of the album in their Reading set last night, it's obvious that while some songs have benefited from Homme's Americanised, yet more nuanced approach, some songs still contain the raw energy and thrashing style of the previous albums, suggesting even to somebody who didn't know about Homme's involvement that there was more than one engineer/producer on the project.

Which brings me nicely to mistake number two: Hoby suggests that every song contains the thrashing style that made the Monkeys famous in the first place. Poor Hoby has shot herself in the foot. Like last night, the Monkeys started their Brixton set with "My Propeller", a dark and heavy song bursting at the seams with double entendres, metaphors and sexual innuendo. The slow build up leads nicely into the first single from "Humbug", "Crying Lightning". Even that doesn't have the Monkeys' 'signature sound' or at least, it is shoved in the background to leave Turner to get on with his singing rather than having his lyrics drowned out by noise. Old songs were in rather short supply, and if the Monkeys showed the same semi-apathy for their old hits as they did at Reading last night then surely there is no reason to suggest to people that they haven't moved on.

Third mistake: the hair. Oh, who really gives a monkeys (no pun intended) about the fact that Alex Turner has grown his hair? Trying to say that his longer hair shows a progression into manhood out of adolescence is even worse! It's childish and pretentious at the same time like giggling at someone's locks in the schoolyard just because it's different to yours or looks "silly" or "rubbish". Get over it. If the hair must be talked about, attribute it to the fact that Turner has so obviously cast off the shackles of his working-class roots and (possibly) been bullied by his it-girl beau Alexa Chung into looking less like a chav and more like a proper rock star. Okay, it's probably more like that it was Alexa and not Alex denying where he comes from - he doesn't seem like the type.

Please please please Hermione! Stick to what you know; actually, what is that exactly?

Fantasies

In 2006, Metric released "Live It Out", a fast, furious and stressed-out album that exposed their views on things like modern life and the war (on possibly their best song, "Monster Hospital") and frontwoman and keyboard-player Emily Haines adopted a more unconventional singing style, sometimes screaming, sometimes cooing and then warping her voice in the most strangest of manners to represent anguish and desperation. Three years down the line, and one solo project for Haines, Metric have released "Fantasies", a much more structured and adult effort.

Of course, that doesn't mean I prefer "Live It Out". Both albums can top each other in different ways, and here Metric are taking slight advantage of the rise of electro but subverting it slightly and moulding it to their own liking. "Twilight Galaxy" and "Front Row" provide the mellowest moments of the album and allow Haines to truly take the lead, making use of her synth-playing expertise and the experience she gained in making her low-key solo album.

Oh, and then we get stabbing, attention-grabbing guitars straight after, reminiscent of their last album. But unlike on "Live It Out" you're left with more room to breathe in each song - perhaps with the exception of album closer "Stadium Love" which continues their love of not ending albums on a dull note. Indeed, "Stadium Love" is the most hectic song and with its long fade-out, disruptive fuzz and an urgent beat, it's also one of the album's most uplifting songs (for some reason, this album is dark without trying deliberately to be like the night; it's all in the little things that you don't notice after just one play).

"Gimme Sympathy" plays on the old question of "would you rather be the Beatles or the Rolling Stones?" I was sort of surprised that this was chosen to be a single but maybe they're trying to reach a new audience with this strategy. "Sick Muse" is a twisted love song hidden behind lyrics about silly people, rejecting money, wanting to be the best and having a mental illness. Nice.

If there's one downside to this album it's that opener "Help I'm Alive" is one minute too long. It has one verse, one bridge and one chorus, each with a different key and a different tone. After four and a half minutes this gets a bit wearing and you get the feeling that the triumphant ending piece should have been taped on just after that bit with the crazy descending penny-whistle noise. Then it would have been better. But that's just personal opinion.

Still, this is a great effort - even my dad likes it so it must have something good going for it. Favourite song? "Satellite Mind". But since they didn't have that on YouTube, I'll let you go with "Sick Muse" instead:

Reasons Why Little Boots Will Never Be As Good As Goldfrapp

Bless Victoria Hesketh - she's a midget pop star with little vocal range and little lyrical inspiration. Actually, don't bless her - she's ripping off Black Cherry-era Goldfrapp and anyone who doesn't have a ten-second memory knows it.

It's a bit of a sad state of affairs really: things were looking promising when Little Boots started off just using a Tenori-On and a piano doing versions of pop songs (look them up on YouTube if you're interested) and then suddenly.... the hype machine descended.... Yes, that thing.

Suddenly she was grabbed and her hair was done up into loose blonde curls with dark metallic make-up and shiny sequin-decorated clothes and high-heels to match and oh dear! It happened! She morphed into the new version of Ally so quickly that it gave me a headache. Well, a migraine really.

But here's the thing: Vicky just doesn't have the charm or the warmth to be as alluring and listenable as Goldfrapp. Her voice goes from icy squeal to, er, icy squeal and her songs have only one theme which is quite boring after a while. Add to this the fact that all of her backing tracks have a coarse and edgy feel that grates horribly like scraping nails down a chalkboard and suddenly you wonder where the promise of the initial few months went.

Have your imitations if you want, I think I'll stick with the classic model.

Just to prove a point, I think I'll place them side by side in a little video-off for you to decide for yourselves:

Fancy A Bit Of Fun?

Bat For Lashes are encouraging all of their fans to log on to their MySpace page and try mixing their very own version of "Pearl's Dream", one of the best songs on their new album "Two Suns".

It's certainly unique, and users will be able to save their own little mix and send it to their friends to show off their handy mixing work. Don't like the beats? Ditch them. Not keen on Natasha's layered vocals? Bin it. Want more of the freaky little electro skit at the beginning? Make it run through the whole song, baby!

Ah Natasha! What a fine idea indeed. For those of you who haven't heard the song, here it is:

Now think about your remixes!

We Are The People: They Are The Band!

Oh peeps! Having listened to the Empire of the Sun album repeatedly over the last, oh, four or so months, it has become apparent that their latest single "We Are The People" is officially one of the songs of the decade.

Yeah yeah, I know you're sitting there thinking that there are billions of better songs but hey, this is my humble opinion - at first you sit there and its simple guitar riff and psychedelic singing wash over you in an amiable way and then after ten or so plays you start smiling. And the smile is more of a beam that you can't contain but have to in case people start staring at you more than ever.

It's a summer song: even the video screams warmth and tropical bliss but then I woudn't expect anything less from a band who like to dress up in wild headdresses and dance around in tribal jewellery while wearing lovely blue chinese suits (who are MGMT kidding? They're nowhere near as far out as these guys!) Ah, if Sleepy Jackson and Pnau are really on hold then it's good news. I want more from Empire of the Sun. I want it now and I want them to tour next week!!

Ahem this video takes a while to get going: it's like a weird narrative but my Spanish has deteriorated badly so please: someone tell me what they're saying!!

Sounds Of The Universe

Oh, what's happened?! All quiet in the Depeche Mode camp? Certainly not! After all, they've had years of bust ups and additctions and have created blindingly good records through it all. So what? Are we going to get a happy, lovey-dovey, oh-so-corrupted version of the Mode now that they've settled down? Like bells we are.

I will stand by this record, which is ten thousand tmies better than their last attempt, "Playing The Angel" (though in all fairness "Lilian" was quite a good song). It's rockier, more ambitious, and has a slight turn towards their old days. Slight. Not too much. Gone are the bleeps and blops (well, mostly) and in come the melodies and the sexy guitars once again. Yay! It's a return to form.

Opener "In Chains" makes use of some slightly stripped down beats and a lovely electronic-warped guitar, using Dave Gahan's voice as its main force. And what a force it is on this record - it seems there's some new vigor and life inside him and this is shown on their first single "Wrong" in which he powers through unstoppably against fragmented melodies and lets the darkness flow. But a lot of this could be down to Martin L. Gore's songwriting. I'll let Gahan have the credit for "Come Back" which is one of the most effective songs on the album.

We still have gentler moments of evil on "Little Soul" and the short instrumental break "Spacewalker" which hold different parts of the album together nicely. Personally, the final third of this thirteen-track album is the best. "Miles Away/ The Truth Is" is, whisper it quietly, almost like a pop song (eek!) and is probably one of the most accessible offerings here. But I still love it more than their darker musings. Strange, isn't it? "Jezebel" serves as an interlude between this and the storming closer "Corrupt" which just has to be THE best closer to a record I've heard so far this year, and it'll take a lot to beat its rock-infused malevolence.

But I don't understand how "Peace" made the final cut of the record. At just over an hour long, they could have afforded to cut out this part. You can see the idea behind it, with the almost choral layering of voices, but the bitty electronica doesn't quite sit right in-between "In Sympathy" and "Come Back". Is it just me or this section just a little unnecessary? Part of me just doesn't want to sit through four minutes of "Peace" before getting to "Come Back", I want to skip through it!!

But despite this black mark in the middle of the record, Depeche Mode have made a much more engaging and pleasing record than their latest attempts. They wanted it to be the "Violator for the 21st Century". Have they done it? Well, it'll always be hard to match "Violator" but you aren't gonna get any closer than this!!

Two Suns

You know, I actually didn't know what exactly to expect with Natasha Khan's second album. Her band Bat For Lashes' first album was filled with understated magic and mysticism that only really broke free from simple piano and harpsichord ditties on a few tracks - not that it stopped me from declaring it as one of my albums of 2007.

Two years later and we are presented with the equally hypnotic "Two Suns", a conceptual album that sees our Ms. Khan expanding her sound quite significantly. Having only ever heard "Daniel" and "Moon and Moon" before buying the album I wondered if it was all going to be low-key electronica and yet more piano musings. But no, opener "Glass" sort of blows that out of the water. It seems Natasha has a soft spot for tribal beats and ringing percussion mixed with dark guitars and her own amazing vocal range. And I DO love her vocal range.

"Glass" also shows Khan's love of metaphorical lyrics, singing about things that on the surface are incomprehensible ramblings. But hey, look! There's actually some deep meaning in there! "A thousand crystal towers"? Yes, definitely a metaphor. But let's not linger on her songwriting prowess and instead focus on the rest of the album.

The first five songs are written under Khan's own name but the second half of the album are ung by her alias Pearl, and the songs become increasingly interlinked. See how in "Pearl's Dream" there is a reference to "Good Love Town", the subject of the next song? Nifty stuff. Pearl's songs are undoubtedly bleaker in many ways, but they provide some of the more magical moments on the album. "Pearl's Dream" is perhaps Khan's best pop moment to date, while on "Two Planets" she seems to invoke the spirit of Bjork, yelping and echoing over layers and layers of drums and beats - very "Earth Intruders". In the first half of the record is "Sleep Alone", which looks like it's going to be the next single. It's understated, like a more upbeat version of her first ever single "Trophy" and includes some lovely sweeping vocals and little bursts of electro that give it a tougher edge.

Ah, Natasha. This album will bring you (and has brought you) commercial success. I like an album that shows evolution and progress, rather than a regression or much of the same. And "Two Suns" does that - it's a much more beefed up version of "Fur and Gold" and is intricately clever, using combinations of the powerful and the simple. Buy it - you won't regret it.